Lifestyle Solutions for a Happy Healthy You!

Are You Too Busy?

Are You Too Busy?

Is your life filled with lots of doing and not enough being? Do you find  you don’t take the time to recharge and regenerate?

Loving ourselves enough to say no to obligations is often one of our most  challenging lessons, especially if you are a people-pleaser.

In order for our lives to be in balance, we need to spend enough  alone time to  rebuild our energy so that the time we spend with those we care  about is  quality time. When we are too busy and exhausted by our lives, we are  not fully present in any activity, and our family and friends  aren’t  really getting our quality attention anyway.

One of the key things to consider is whether or not you are an extrovert or  an introvert. Extroverts will get energy being with people. Introverts, although  they enjoy being with people, will feel depleted if they go too long without  having some alone time. Which ever personality type you are, everyone needs to  replenish and spend time with themselves. The challenge for an extrovert might  be to learn how to be alone, for the introvert it would be to carve out alone  time and not feel guilty.

If you are anything like me, you have spent way too much time worrying about  taking care of everyone else’s needs and not nearly enough trying to figure out  your own. There are times we do need to be there for our friends and family, but  there are   other times where our presence is not crucial. Ask yourself if a  phone   call, card or gift will suffice for you being there on this particular  occasion.

For years I worked at soul-depleting corporate jobs.  I was always  drained yet I spent much of my precious down time going to events and parties  for all of the people in my life because I felt obligated. I dragged myself from  place to place, feeling only half-present, yearning to go home and recharge my  batteries.

Sometimes loving ourselves means being able and willing to say no. Rather  than telling a white lie (which was often my modus operandi) tell the  truth instead.  Lying about it complicates things further, because you need  to keep track of what story you told to whom. Try simply saying  I  really need time to recharge and just be alone. Then practice not feeling  guilty about it. You may get some flack but hold your ground. Guilt is a choice  and you can choose to not go there.

Those who choose to heap guilt upon you are showing their true colors, which  often means that their friendship is more about you taking care of them than a  mutual give and take. Those who truly love you will honor your need to be alone  and allow you to do so without an emotional charge.

I encourage my fellow people-pleasers to look at your social obligations this  week, and if you are in need of alone time practice saying no. And be honest  about why.

Your real friends may be disappointed but they will understand.  If  those you thought were true friends make it all about them, then you may want to  access whether or not you need these kinds of friends in your life.  Often  times you will find that your quiet yet powerful example will give others  permission to take much needed time for themselves. We then need to make sure we  support and honor their need to be alone and not make them feel  guilty.

By Erica Sofrina,  International Speaker, Teacher, Author and Coach

Erica Sofrina is a motivational speaker, author and life coach specializing  in connecting people to their spiritual essence. She is also an Internationally  recognized Feng Shui speaker, teacher and the author of the book Small Changes,  Dynamic Results! Feng Shui for the Western World and the Founder of the West  Coast Academy of Feng Shui.  She is also the founder of Earth Spirit Adventure  Travel which takes people on retreats to powerful energy vortexes such as Bali  and Hawaii to facilitate their deep earth/spirit connection.

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